Where was I?

hg here.
hibernation. yep. but came out a month late.
couldn't even send the poems. dorky couldn't even fill in.

this is what you've been waiting for:

what's badder than sleeping 16 hours a day without a reason
what's grosser than having a wet lesion
what's sicker than seeing million insects flying into your face with a mission (assume your french or german)
it's having the never-ending indian-rainy-season

so why am i writing a blog at 2:30 in the morning from a friend's room?
because dorky's so smart he put the lights on in the room and forgot to close the door and when we returned, lo and behold there are a zillion of those flying insects (which btw do not live for more than half an hour) having a bloody good time over my bed and my laptop and my stove and my clothes and my bag.

why is something wrong with dorky all the time?
so he tried driving his brother-in-law's bike (pathetic guy still doesn't know how to drive one). so he hit an oncoming scooty. so the girl was quite pretty.
but wtf... his toe's screwed. rotf.

P. S. 1: caps lock and shift got fired today
P. S. 2: indian girls do know some foul language
P. S. 3: smileys are back
P. S. 4: dorky been doing "research"?

Of Cricketing Woes and a Weight Gain Program

Hey you !@#$ out there. This is HG.
Now I've got to tell you people that unlike Dorky, I hate watching cricket. I simply can't stand the fact that a sphere of a couple inches diameter excites 11+11+4*+billion people.
The advent of IPL has according to me, further felled the game in my eyes. Now I never thought that cricket was a gentleman's game (hey we've got Harbhajan and Srisanth), but still since when did cheerleaders invoke interest in the Indian unfair** sex???

Riddle 1:
What's worse than purchasing U, Me Aur Hum's ticket?
What's more gross than a dancing firangi pot-belle'
It's watching morosely colorful*** IPL cricket!!!

Nothing more on it will be written by me.

Now to the more interesting part of the post: Dorky's weight gain program!!! roflmao!!!

Okay good he's not here. Dorky's size zero frame was attracting too much of that unwanted staring from not-so-straight people. So he decided to put on some weight. He first joined this gym near college and dropped after two days. Hey that's still an improvement from the last time.

So he's back in home now. And guess what.. he's eating his heart out, in the house.
Hehe, poor Dorky doesn't know that he's 'in' for a potbelly.

Riddle 2:
Who's so thin, it's difficult and murky
To say if he'd look like Posh even after a stuffed turkey
No prizes for guessing, it's beloved Dorky!!!


* Was actually meant to be for the 3 umpires, but some between-the-match shows claim there are four!!!
**That's what we're called right??
***Does that qualify as an oxymoron?

P. S. 1: I'm not a publicist for Ajay Devgan
P. S. 2: Yo' mama's so thin, she makes Posh look like she eats for a living!!!

To hell with privacy

Dorky again.
I must say I crave for privacy. (This is getting quite monotonous with too many "I must say"s.)
I really don't like it when I'm looking at my mail and someone comes and stares from behind. So it's the holidays and was checking mail when suddenly Dad comes from behind and starts asking questions. So from next time onwards I start closing the damned browser. This makes Dad suspicious. So much so, that today he just blatantly asked if I was watching "dirty". Well. I just couldn't answer that one.

So much for privacy. So much for a fished up test match. So what if we lost. Ganguly scored pretty well. And he gets a place in the team for the next test. Yipee!!!

So HG was sleeping all day after watching "dirty" last night for around 3-4 hours. He's a bad fellow. Still he had the time to make up this riddle during breakfast:

What's more fun than hearing a woman "moan"
What's more enticing than seeing her Big-Os* clone
It's having the late night dose of my favorite porn!!!

I tell you people he's a very bad fellow. Stay away from him.
*edited after received complaints from the 'un'fairer sex
Good bye for now. Wanna play little fighter. Auf Wiedersehen!
Damn the French lessons.

The 2 o'clock Blogger

Dorky here.
I must say I'm a fan of Camilla Belle. Cute. Cute. Cute.
No, I seriously have no other adjectives for her. I can't comment on her acting skills. They er... let's forget it.
I finally got to see the movie When a Stranger Calls and boy, was I disappointed. The I-know-what-you-did-last-summer kinda chill wasn't there and I don't know why, movie makers don't exploit Belle's one good quality and that's her looks. The movie seriously sucks. And a very poor ending.

Another movie I got to see (the whole this time) was Munich. Hail Bana. Quite a good movie. Long. Enjoyable. Full of action. But I hated those stupid subtitles HBO put in between. Screw them.

I know that's a trait of HG, but what to do. So was playing Warrior Within yesterday, and I must say that I kept going in circles at one point. I don't like such games. By the way HG sent a riddle for you guys:

Who's so hot, it's hard to tell

If she's a human, or an angel from hell (she's hot right?)

Who's got looks that even a pimp wouldn't sell

It's none other than my dear Camilla Belle


HG sucks at riddles doesn't he?

P. S. 1: No smileys in this post too... That's three in a row.
P. S. 2: I put in P. S. 's this time too.

Goodbye. That's English.